A brief overview of conflict resolution styles is probably helpful. The most common conflict resolution styles are based upon a dual-concern model which balances concern for self against concern for others. As you read the different styles, think about which styles you see used by the hierarchy at various levels.
- Accommodating: Having higher concern for others than self, one party yields to another party that has higher concern for self than for others. This sometimes resolves minor conflicts but often worsens more significant conflicts because it spawns resentment.
- Avoiding: Having minimal concern for others’ interests, one party ignores the conflict hoping it will disappear. However, that party’s inaction and passiveness often escalates the conflict because the inhumanity of being ignored aggravates the other party.
- Collaborating: Balancing concern of self and others, the parties communicate and work towards a win-win resolution.
- Compromise: Having concern for self and others as well as a sense of fairness, both parties bargain in a give-and-take manner with each side yielding to the other for some things. This is a blend of accommodating and collaborating styles and is frequently used to reach interim solutions.
Confrontation: Having very strong self-interest, at least one party
tries to dominate the other by using power to intimidate or force compliance.
The objective is a win-lose scenario. If communications exist they
- External reference – others are the source of happiness or pain
- Controlling others – since others are the source of happiness and pain
- Afraid of losing people
- An unbalanced desire for other’s approval
- Rigid defenses out of fear of being rejected
- Delusional beliefs and a willingness to lie or accept lies to retain others’ approval
- Loss of self
- Sincerely believe they are “special”/better than others, and often disdain “inferiors”
- Fantasize about power or success
- Exaggerate talents or achievements and have unrealistic goals
- Expect constant praise
- Fail to acknowledge other's feelings and concerns, sometimes appearing as unemotional
- Expect others to follow their plans and thus take advantage of or manipulate others
- Are jealous of others and think others are jealous of them
- Have difficulty establishing and maintaining healthy relationships
Have fragile self-esteem and therefore are easily hurt or take offense
- Have a messianic zeal and believe they are only accountable to a higher court or God
- Have an unshakeable belief that they are right and place being "right" above cost, practicality or outcome
- Have contempt for those who disagree with them
- Equate themselves with the organization and use the royal we speaking as though representing universal opinions of the group
- Have excessive self confidence from unshakeable belief they are “right”
- Have incompetency in basic leadership skills
- Act to cast self in positive light and give highest priority to their image
- Lose contact with reality
- Act recklessly and impulsively
Find power is a way for self-glorification